-holidays and a high school girl friend-
is it ok,
to take her hand, and missunderstand?
is what i want to say, what she wants to hear?
can i convince her someway,
somehow,
with something,
to go somewhere with me?
is it ok to leave this place?
it's all erased. i see her face.
her face is all i see.
is it ok
...for me.
i can't be anymore... the way i used to be.
is it ok
for me
to hold on and not want to go on anymore?
anyway...
...is it ok
to speak or pray to prey?
will i have the guts today
to take her away from here?
is it ok
to fear
this returning time of year,
of repeating dreams and pain.
a pain that seems to rain
on EVERYTHING.
some cuts have no cause.
infected skin and bloody gause.
is it ok?
what dose she have to
lose?
what have we already lost?
is what i have to say to her
what she wants to hear?
is it ok
to avoid the holidays and hide in fear?
how did i adhere to the cheer last year?
december is near... and i need her
to keep me from remembering clear.
if i'm left all alone here for long...
the ghosts of holidays past will appear.
is it ok
for this
pain to
last still
...so real
every fucking year.
.