--Crying for you- by: Kody I sit here crying I feel like dying For all those feelings held inside So many holes felt deep within Why do I feel so fucking thin? I feel like nothing, Just emptiness, and hurt inside Why dont I just run and hide? And if I did, who would care? This shits too much for me to bare Why cant I feel this thing I need? I feel like I just want to BLEED! And when I break, what will you do? -or does my suffering mean nothing to you?- why would it matter? Why should you care? Its not something you needed to bare Ill move on, my scars will heal After all, we no deal… -love for you, and none for me- but impossible for you to see is me here crying, forever frying, for im in hell, and I AM DYING All those feelings, held inside I think Ill just run and hide I wonder, if someone will say "what happened to him, on that day?" Falling through this downward spiral I feel sick, I feel so vile When will this pain go away? I want to end this shit today I want to leave, I want to die, But im here…so….I cry by: Kody when there is nothing, my mind is free and that is everything, I want to be ive felt love, ive felt hurt but now all I feel, are holes in my heart if I find love, like before id rather stay hidden behind this door but is there was something better for me, better than y nothingness sanctuary it might be worth staying, here in this wourld but until then, ill be in my head lying unconscious on the bed. Escape to nothingness, the downward spiral A place of darkness, death, and denial But within this place, is another in me Where everything is nothing…my mind is free Fee to wander, free to be everything as nothing, inside of me everything in nothingness, where everything is meaningless and all that matters, is simply….nothingness --This world saddens me- by: Kody I look around, but don't understand What it is, that I have found What has happened so recently? Or maybe… its just me.., Maybe ive just opened my eyes Looked away from the skies And down to this earth, full of hurt And saw whats happening all around Lying naked on the ground Vulnerable, weak, and misconceived Waiting for someone, to help me Back to my feet, so I can awake And face the day… Im not sure who I am today… Or why im here… or even… where… I try so desperately to find Something that can ease my mind But its hard, cuz all I find Lost love, betrayal, and hurt inside I wonder if theres anyone there Who would share this burden I bare Without asking my soul in return I wish that I didn't need To feel something, NOT to bleed Confused misunderstanding Of whatever is happening Why must you die, to ever be? I now know why, this world saddens me… --Feel- by: Kody How can you tell if you love someone? I know I feel, but do I feel what I know? I know I have feelings, I can feel them inside But what are they saying? Am I misunderstanding? Or should I not worry And let it work itself out? I make decitions, but are they right? Or is ther not really any wrong, or right? Merely choices that shape your life Ive made such decisions, but who will be hurt? And will I be happy?… oh wait, I don't care As long as someone I love is there… --Who is me?- Who is I? I is me.. Or at least I want to be Free to be Who is me Free to love Free to think Free to believe What I want to believe And someday be With another being Who, just maybe Wants to be, with me… Who is me? I is me… I am Kody --She deserves better- I cant believe he doesn't care I give her flowers and play with her hair He just watches like he doesn't care I held her hand, as we 3 walked down the hall I know, soon ill tell her, ive begun to fall I feel like shes stuck with someone I know he loves her, and I know she love him But what if this was something better? Would it be worth it, to give her that letter? I guess for now, ill just have to wait Resist temptation to take her away Maybe someday, ill call her mine Perhaps, even happiness, maybe ill find She deserves better Not that im anything special But at least I would SHOW her, how much I loved her Unlike another, who can only tell her And is letting her, be stolen away Maybe this bullshit will end today, maybe ill tell her… Anyways, all I know is, that she deserves better --HER <never again>-- I saw her 3 times today But all I did was smile and wave No more pain, no more hurt I think to day, was the first Time that I, could pass her by Without all the stitches coming out And my heart, once again, falling apart But with you on my mind, What she did that time Seems so meaningless inside Its such a nice feeling, just, not caring Things in the past, are now lessons learned This that happened so fast, but are now in the past, The feelings for her, I knew would last But now there gone, and im awake I no longer feel, completely fake Or empty, or even hurt, I think today, IVE FIANNALY GOTTEN OVER…HER… --Thinking- I have no right to feel what I feel I feel like I just want to steal Her away, and never return Just look at him, he hasn't earned The right to touch her, the way he does Why do I feel these feelings of love Only for the ones I can never have…? But that's just me… that's how I find The ones that I want to be mine But its me, so I can wait But I don't know why I cant take Her a away and go somewhere Or maybe we.. could disappear All alone, for eternity But im not that lucky, its not me Im just the one that's supposed to be Happy, cheerful, smiling Its so hard to understand What an imperfect soul can Do to change this fucked up world Just to be remembered… --Writing again- I cant belive ive picked up this pen Ready to pour my soul on this paper again Its been so long that it feels wrong Ive missed so many thoughts of mine Some that I will never find Im glad, I guess, but it has changed The way I see, the way I percive Even the way, I feel, I think But when I write, it makes me belive That possibly, happiness, CAN come for me …..someday at least……sooommedayyyy…. --Mmis- my mind is somewhere but its not here in my head oh wait, I found it… its there in my heart |